Day two:

Today at 10:30 PM

Woke up thinking of you...

Pain in my chest still. hurts more than yesterday 

All my dreams are about you. All of them. And they all revolve around how I've failed you.
Even in my dreams I feel broken 

I was terrified of falling in love with you. I was so scared. But I got over my fears,
I wasn't going to let fear prevent an amazing relationship with you. But now all my
fears were justified. Now I'm equally as terrified about a life without you 

Feeling so nauseous today...every time I think of her I get dizzy and nauseous. 

I heard the weather was nice out today, so I went outside and sat down to try and enjoy the day.
 I noticed a ladybug walking up to me, with a laugh I said to myself "I may not have my beautiful
girlfriend anymore but at least I have beautiful weather and a beautiful ladybug to keep me company."
 Immediately after I said the ladybug flew away and a cold wind hit me. 

Note to self: the world doesn't want you to have anything beautiful anymore 

An acquaintance of mine just talked to me. His first question was about how you're doing.
I didn't have the heart to tell him we broke up. I don't want to tell anyone. This can't be my reality.
I still can't believe this has happened. 

I'm dying without you....but are you even thinking of me?

Lost in limbo if I should text you or not...we said maybe we'd talk today.
 But yet...it all feels so hopeless I don't even know if you want to talk to me.
 If I remember correctly you're really busy today. You don't have time to deal with me.
So should I text you or not?

In the end, I'm just another ex

In the end, I never really made a difference 

In the end, I'm a collection of memories waiting to be forgotten

Song on the radio today was from the mixtape I made you.
The song about how sometimes things don't make sense, yet they're meant to be.
Past few days haven't made sense and it DOESNT feel like it should be this way  

I feel like all of this is brand new to me. A shock, something devastating. And for you it's probably a relief.
The time you finally have without me. No longer shall I be a thorn in your side 

At work today, I had to give the cutest kid an ice cream cone. My first thought was that I should tell
you about him. I know how much you love kids and how excited you're to have children.
And now I can't even share this with you